Attitude is everything and today mine sucks! I had to go to my cardiologist’s office yesterday for a minor procedure. Even though the procedure was extremely minor and non-invasive my medical anxiety was off the charts. My heart was racing and I was making myself sick from the stress. I had to have a Holter monitor placed and wear it for 48 hours. My doctor is doing this because I have had tachycardia, or fast heart rate. I’ve also been dizzy and passing out, so this test should give us the answers as to why this is happening to me and what (if anything) needs to be done.
There are a few rules that I have to follow for the 48 hour period of the test. I can’t take a shower, but I can take a bath as long as I can avoid getting the machine wet. I’m not allowed to use my heating pad or my heating blanket, which is the biggest problem that I have with this test. As someone who suffers from Raynaud’s, this is almost Hell. I live in Washington state and it is still very cold at night. I suffered terribly last night without my heat source. I just keep reminding myself that it’s only 48 hours, but that is not making me feel any better. And did I mention that the electrodes itch? My Gods it’s driving me insane, and I’ve been told to not touch them or it will affect the reading!
For the duration of this test, I have to document everything that am doing and how it affects my heart. I have to click a little button every time my heart races or flutters. I’m all about data, but some of the activities in my life are not their business. I am a very private person with certain habits that the medical staff do not need to know about. I’m trying to be as compliant as possible, but everyone that knows me will tell you that I make a terrible patient!
My poor husband has his hands so full with me fussing about this damn device and all of the inconveniences that it is causing me. I don’t even know why it’s bothering me that much, but I have a MAJOR attitude about this whole process. Maybe it’s because I don’t really believe that there is anything wrong with my heart. I think the tachycardia is actually caused by my anxiety, but my husband is really afraid that there is more to it than that. I love him enough to torment myself with this test, but I never promised that I would have a good attitude about it!
I’m still waiting for the cardiology office to schedule two other heart tests that my doctors want me to do. This is just the first in a series of several more tests and procedures. I can’t help but have the feeling that they are putting me through unnecessary stress for no reason. If I come through this whole situation and it turns out to be nothing, I am going to be pissed for being forced into all of this. Every single test, gives me severe anxiety. Even when I know that it is a non-invasive procedure, it still gives me a massive amount of anxiety. Just walking into a medical office is difficult for me and causes a panic attack – instantly. The autoimmune life is getting harder and harder for me to live.
Stay strong autoimmune warriors and friends and family. Love and light.