You may recall from my recent post, Medical Anxiety: My Busy Week, I had a Fibroscan this week. Well, the whole test was causing me a bunch of anxiety and I almost did not go. My loving husband forced me to go to this blasted appointment and against my better judgment I let him. You see, I had been avoiding this test for fear of the results. Well… the results are in and I am dumbfounded y’all! After two years of a PBC diagnosis and excruciating liver pain, it turns out that I am only at a stage 0 with absolutely no fibrosis. I could not have gotten a better outcome with this test. They did find out that I have fatty liver disease, but that is minor compared to PBC. I’ll have to make some more dietary changes to deal with a fatty liver, but other than that not much else should be required at this time.
An abdominal ultrasound was also done the same day as the Fibroscan. That test found a bit more, but still nothing to be too concerned with. They did find a 5 mm polyp on my gallbladder, but that is not large enough for them to be concerned with, so it will be staying for the time being. Everything else looked good, so today I will say that I am blessed. Kidneys and spleen all looked good. They found no ascites which is great!
You would think that all of this good news would relax my medical anxiety, but unfortunately such is not the case with me. I still have several more tests and procedures coming up in the next few weeks, and I am stressed about those as well. In my case, having 13 doctors and specialists means that there is always something new to be stressing on. This is the down side of my autoimmune life. I can never catch a break… I can never have a moment to breathe. I can’t even get away for a minute to think about anything in the world besides my failing health. It’s on my mind when I wake up and it’s on my mind all day. It’s still on my mind when I go to bed and when I wake up in the middle of the night, it is the state of my health that wakes me. The sad part is that I’m not the only one that feels this way. Most of the folks in my various online support groups feel and go through exactly the same as I am going through now. Unfortunately, this is par for the course when you are suffering with and battling autoimmune disease or any chronic illness.
If you know and love someone who is fighting chronic illness, be easy with them. We are battling our bodies, our minds and sometimes our faith just to survive day-to-day. Send a kind word, check up on them, be there for them. This world is so full of ugly, we could all use a little kindness.
Things may look bleak in some areas of my life, but today I will choose to recognize the miracle that I was given. My liver test results could not have been better. I’m probably not going to need a liver transplant for a very, very long time. Now my main concern is the Scleroderma diagnosis, but there is little to nothing that they can do for that. The good thing is that everything is very well managed right now and the Universe has given me a miracle, and a moment to stop and enjoy it.
I’d like to give a special thank you to all of you that have been checking up on me over the last few days and weeks. I have been going through a really dark time, but it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel – finally! Love and light to each and every one of you now and always!