I’ve had a crazy week filled with medical issues galore! I did so much grocery shopping and re-organizing that I threw myself into a flare. It’s been going strong for about a week now, and at this point I’m not sure how much more pain I can take.
I’m currently living under my heating blanket to help with some of the aches and pains that I am still experiencing. The weather has gotten colder here in Washington state, and apparently the cold is also a trigger for me. This is no surprise since I have Raynaud’s. The cold is causing a lot of joint pain for me as well. I haven’t felt my hands or feet in several days now.
My primary care physician is having trouble getting my referral to a rheumatologist to be approved, so she referred me to an internal medicine doctor for a consult on my Scleroderma. Initially, I had an attitude because I was being referred to him instead of rheumatology. The doctor was actually quite knowledgeable on my condition, but still thinks that I need a rheumatologist. At least he and I agreed on that from the very beginning of my appointment. He did run some labs and much to my surprise, they are all negative. He was initially suspicious of Rheumatoid Arthritis, but that is one of the negatives that we received. I’m once again sitting in limbo trying to figure out what the Hell is wrong with me now.
My pelvic ultrasound came back normal, so now we have no idea what is causing all of that pain either. I’m being referred to yet another doctor for further evaluation of the pain and a possible laparoscopy to diagnose. Now they are thinking that I have endometriosis instead of PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). Truth be told… nobody has a clue and I am quite literally back to square one.
Early next week I have an EGD with biopsies scheduled and that has my anxiety through the roof. The last time that I had one of those done, I got an infection that landed me in the hospital for 5 days. I’m absolutely terrified that the same is going to happen this time as well. My husband keeps trying to reassure me and calm me down, but I’m still a nervous wreck. My household still relies on me for so much, and there is nobody else to help if I go down for a while. All of this stress has lead me to have a less than desirable attitude with everyone, and for that I am remorseful. Luckily, my family is rather understanding of all of my autoimmune ups and downs, and for that I am truly blessed.
In addition to everything that has been going on, I fell a few days ago. I must be getting older, because the impact of my fall is still with me and definitely adding to the flare that I was already in. I hurt my wrist, back, hip and ankle when I fell. I couldn’t feel my feet due to a severe Raynaud’s attack and missed my footing and almost landed on my face. Worse than the pain was the embarrassment of falling in front of my kids. You know you’re getting old when you fall and nobody laughs. Everyone was super worried about me after that and to be honest so am I. It’s about to get a lot colder than it already is. My Raynaud’s will undoubtedly get worse with the colder temperatures. I could become quite the fall risk this Winter.
Surprisingly enough, I am still in fairly good spirits considering everything that I have been through this past week or so. For all my injuries and aches and pains, I’m still keeping a smile on my face (as much as possible with all of this pain) and trying to stay as positive as possible. Sometimes that’s all that you can do on this autoimmune journey.
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