A New Hope

shutterstock_62621014I have spent the last 3 months worrying myself to death.  When I was given the PBC diagnosis, I felt like life as I knew it was over with.  I was originally told that I would likely be on the transplant list within ten years.  Everything seemed so pointless.  Goals and dreams were gone in an instant.  I became so negative that I could barely even stand myself!  Life seemed to have to purpose anymore.

The past 3 months have certainly been a huge transition period for me and honestly for my husband as well.  We have both had to make so many changes to our lives that we barely resemble the same people that we were just a year or two ago.  We have had to have some scary conversations about some very scary topics.  I have been shuffled into more specialists’ offices than I can count at this point, and there are still more scheduled.

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I have been on a god-awful medication called Ursodiol for 3 months now.  Basically this medication creates more bile acid to help it flow through the bile ducts of my liver.  All that aside, this medication is TERRIBLE!  It makes me nauseous and causes a severe loss of appetite.  I just absolutely loathe taking this medication.  Last week I received my first 3-month liver labs and all of my levels are back in normal range.  I know that most of you have no clue how huge this is to us, but basically this means that I’m probably not going to be on the transplant list any time soon.  It also means that I am responding well to Urso and that is half the battle.

After spending the last 3 months depressed and scared, worrying myself sick on a daily basis, I finally have a glimmer of hope in what seems at times to be a desolate path ahead of me.  These last few days I’ve had a bit more pep to my step and the light is coming back.  I have new job opportunities in front of me and I think that I’m finally ready to accept my new autoimmune life and learn how to live it to the best of my ability.

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